Hovis
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Hovis’ Friday diary: reasons why I should be your new leader now that the blonde bushy-haired one has left...
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘Bouncing about on my toesies’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘If I sweat any more, the local ant colony is going to be holding canoe slalom time trials down my inner thighs’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘I am standing accused of trying to break every female in my life’
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Hovis’ Friday Diary: The kingpin is back, while Barbie Boy is in the dog house
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Hovis’ Friday Diary: ‘I am more fed up than a republican at a Royal Garden Party’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘Mother’s growl would have frozen the blood of the grouchiest of grizzly bears’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘I came down with all 718kg of muscled equine perfection on her foot’
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Hovis’ Friday Diary: ‘I intend to sue the Royal Mail – and want to be paid out in polos’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘Ditch Mr Flighty – come and ride the mighty’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘The ultimate come back kid does it yet again – whereas mother not so much’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘The woman has double standards as well as a double chin…’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: I only spooked at two things – things that were real and things that were not
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘when it comes to skills, mother is the children’s safety scissors equivalent of riding’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘My IQ is not rivalled by the mounting block’
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Hovis’ Friday Diary: ‘Why I should be called Sir Hovis of the Floofy Hooves...’
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Hovis’ Friday Diary: ‘You humans are such peculiar creatures’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: And people think I’m the high maintenance one…
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘plant then prance’, ‘jump and jiggle’ or ‘spin and sod off’?
