The Sudanese refugee has survived war, extermination of his village and torture, and is rebuilding his life as a stable lad at one of the top Flat racing yards in England. Eleanor Jones tracks his journey from Darfur to Berkshire
For years, Abdul Musa Adam was afraid to sleep.
In his dreams, he would see, over and over again, the burning of his home. The bodies of his family, strangers’ bodies black with flies on city streets. His torturers in a Libyan prison. Then the dreams came during his waking hours.
“When I work with horses, it gets better,” says Abdul, who now works for trainer Andrew Balding. “Horses give me a connection to my family, and a way back to the person I was.”
Abdul was born nearly 3,000 miles away from Kingsclere’s green hills near Newbury, in a tent in Darfur, a region of western Sudan. His parents were nomads, of the Zaghawa tribe, moving their herds according to the grazing and the water.
His early memories are of beautiful bright dresses, fresh mangoes and guava after the rains, skies full of countless stars, grass so green “it hurt your eyes”. Abdul’s grandfather, a sheikh, told the children of men and women with white skin, but they were not sure whether they believed him.
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"}
H&H news editor
Eleanor is an experienced journalist who spent over eight years working for local and national newspapers before joining H&H as news editor in March 2016. Passionate about equine welfare and exposing the truth, Eleanor has reported on all aspects of the industry, from Brexit to anti-bullying campaigns, and from dressage rules to mules. Her sport of choice is showjumping, in which she competes her own horses, and she also enjoys reporting at local jumping shows through to international championships.